Everything feels destroyed...

This morning everything feels destroyed. I have been thinking about a visit to Sicily back in 2012. I was at the very beginning of the illness that came from toxic mold exposure. At that time I did not know what was wrong with me. I would break out in violent convulsions (only recently learned these were rigors) and was hypersensitive to everything. Doctors initially thought it might be food allergies but there was little rhyme or reason to what was triggering symptoms when...but I was not scared yet. Only confused and concerned. The fear of the unknown - the time bomb that was ticking inside of me...well the paralyzing fear came later...at this point things felt normal-ish - and at the end of our trip we climbed La Rocca di Cefalù. I still consider it one of my greatest moments...so today though things feel destroyed I am going to work on putting this mountain back together.